The Stamkos Diaries

Steven Stamkos has posted another rookie diary. These things are so boring, I’ve become convinced they contain secret messages. For instance, I think “It was her first time down to Tampa and it was a good experience for her” really means “I’m so sick of this bench. It hurts. People weren’t meant to sit on something so hard for so long. I need a cushion.”

I suspect “We have our first official road game of the year coming up [Tuesday] in Toronto so that’s pretty exciting” means “Does Barry Melrose not know what first overall pick means? Did he not get that memo? You better not Daigle me.”

I think “On Friday I went over and had dinner at [Ryan] Malone’s house with [Mike] Smith, we went over there and had a good steak dinner, played some pool and watched some hockey” means “S.O.S. S.O.S. S.O.S. Please. Somebody rescue me. I can’t take it anymore.”