So the Players' Association released their latest offer to the owners. It seems pretty crazy to me. They're starting with 24% salary reductions across the board, which is a lot. I don't see how the owners can turn that down. I mean, department stores rarely even knock that much off the price of anything.
Their plan also has an interesting point which I may not entirely understand. According to TSN, one of the NHLPA's ideas includes:

A revenue redistribution plan that will (a) transfer money from the high-revenue clubs to the low-revenue clubs; and (b) encourage low-revenue clubs to increase their own revenues. The redistribution will operate at the macroeconomic level to inhibit spending on players by the clubs that have formerly spent the most.

I'm wondering if this means low-revenue teams will be punished for not spending all of their money. That would really be great. It would force owners to field successful, competitive teams, since if they didn't, they'd still be out the money anyway. But I could be misunderstanding all of this.

So I bought Maxim today. You know. For the articles. Not because the women of THE APPRENTICE were in it. That would be sad. Shockingly, there was actually a pretty good hockey article. It was about athletes and the horrible injuries they suffer and play through. The article had a fantastic picture of Hall of Fame Red Wing Ted Lindsay. His face is just so great. It's so scarred and craggly. And then, when you view it against the backdrop of the hundreds of air-brushed women in Maxim, it's positively surreal.
The article also mentions Red Wing Steve Yzerman and the rather anonymous Dave Shand, who played for the Leafs, Caps, and Atlanta Flames, as examples of athletes who have had pretty messed up things happen to their body.
Meanwhile, Red Wing Brendan Shanahan is convening a hockey summit, trying to brainstorm ways to make the game more entertaining. Me? I'd suggest they actually play. I think that would be pretty exciting.

So basically, the only place to get hockey news is the gossip pages.
Like did you know party princess Tara Reid, now seeing Sergei Federov, hooked up with him while waiting for her boyfriend to arrive in Miami? Federov moves like he's on skates. Ironically, because of the lockout, he's not on skates any more, though. Except in charity hockey games.
And somehow, LA King Sean Avery, who's such a pest on the ice, is kind of a stud on warm land. Rumor has it he's about to marry model Rachel Hunter. Hunter used to be married to Rod Stewart, which is kind of gross for Avery.
Speaking of models, Colorado's Peter Forsberg seems to have found a new gig. Not only is he playing hockey for his hometown Swedish team, he's also modeling. Nice work if you can get it. And to be fair, Forsberg is a good-looking guy, as these pictures prove. Foppa? More like Hotta.
Oh. And geez. Here's some actual hockey news. To absolutely no one's surprise, Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury is thriving in the AHL. He had a rough night Friday, giving up three goals on 10 shots, but he was really dominating for quite a stretch before the bad night. The Penguins hung Fleury out to dry last season, making him play in front of a team that shouldn't have been playing in the ECHL. Maybe this AHL stint will get his confidence back up.
And finally, here's a blind item:

Which two Detroit Red Wings really don't like Gary Bettman?

Ohhh. I can't keep you in suspense: It's Chris Chelios and Kris Draper.